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Depressing
Hahaha ¬_¬
I came to write a depressing self obsessed little blog but the one two blogs down will do nicely! Oh god what kind of person am i turning into!? Am i someone that's just going to moan and whinge and not enjoy life while they can!? I'm not gonna turn into Mr Heckles" (Friends reference there, yes I'm about ten years late but who gives a shit?) I want to forget what i found out today. I won't write it down, that's not the way to repress things!
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Oyster cards suck - part 1
I'm just going to rant about oyster cards for the next page oor so, please excuse me. So i use an oyster everyday, every sing, stinking day of my miserable existence i rely on this blue card. I swipe t, it automagically lets me through the barrier or onto the bus, thats the general premise right? Well the truth is it'snot like that at all. In reality the oyster card is just a vile invention created by the devil for his own sick amusement. How could the commute possibly be worse? Everyones trudging along like zombies, theres a lack of oxygen and clean air, all the while your shaporoned by dead faced Monkeys who apparently work on the underground (you can see the pain in their eyes). So the invented the blue card, the magical blue card thats a faster, cheaper way of travelling, except it isn't. Without fail everytime i approach a barrier it reads seek assistence, accompanied by that soul destroying noise and the feeling that a thousand commuters are all angry at you. It doesn't do it because there's no credit just for the devils sick amusement. You have to explain to the Monkeys that there is in fact twenty quid on the thing so it must be the machine thats the problem.They don't take kindly to that. Then the buisness of free transport for londoners. I am a londoner i live on the border between essex and london but unfortunately that means i have to pay every single day to go to school, whilst half of the students get it free. Is that justice i ask you? No it's not. It's the devils work on earth.
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Bed creaks
All i have to say right now is that bed creaks are a major mood killer! Whenerver i want to enjoy some enthusiastic alone time I have to go downstaris because the bed just makes it so obvious and my parent's wall backs on to mine Ugh, it's just not good
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I just got pranked!
I just randomly got a prank call. It sounded suspiciously like the boy my friends and i have affectionately named Satan. I saw him the other day, beat him at A levels, I'm hoping that's where the hostility stems from. I hate the thought of him with loads of friends gathered round laughing at what i say. So i just hung up then let the phone ring off. I love to think of him alone, in his bedroom trying to cheer himself up by doing a prank call. But that won't be it.
I don't know why I'm still rambling on about this, i guess I'm just upset at the thought that people are laughing at me. The idea that people would get a kick out of trying to trick me.
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Ghetto Kid
So on monday some random kid was shouting at me when i was walking home from the bus stop. I didn't really hear what he said cos i had my ipod in but today i saw him again. Coming up behind me his yelling "Hey white boy!!", this is seriously pathetic and probably a bit racist but the first thing thought i was going to get stabbed. For a second i was sure i was gonna die the most pathetic death ever at seventeen stabbed for no reason by some fourteen year old... Turns at this kid might be confident enough to blantently shout at people in the middle of the street but not brave enough to follow me and kill me, for the second time he just walked away when i went down my road. But what a weirdo, he has managed to freak me out though and thats probably all he wanted. I reckon i could take him if it ever came to that....Maybe    
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Confuzzled and Angry
I'm in a strange mood today. I got put on report i suppose it's what i deserve, but i'm so annoyed! All i can think of is that if i was at collage i could be with people that actually mean something to me, i wouldn't have to wear uniform (im not that shallow, i just hate it) and i wouldn't have to worry about all ths crappy school stuff. Every week i have to go to a lesson where i learn how to use a condom (oh, joy(!)), or learn that gay people aren't the cause of aids (really (!)). I'm seventeen and i'm still learning how drugs are wrong! I missed the bus waiting for my report to get signed so i spent an hour.on the bus. there were no seats.i had to stand. for an hour. !!!!! And my teachers keep making snarky remarks; oh james you shouldn't be on report, yeah, i know, i don't care, just sign it!
I need a holiday!
Mel's leaving too, for the first time in six years she won't be in my school, I'm really gonna miss her, but i know exactly one shes going.
I'd go too except that'll ruin my whole future plan/job/life/family's life. I write a better/funny/thougtful blog soon im just annoyed now. (BTW no one reads this blog so that was really a note to myself)  BTW i tried to put in a pic didn't work so..... meh....
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Ever woke up regretting the night before?
I think last night a part of me died forever, I'm actually really dreding this blog, writing about it seems to acknowledge that it really happened. Im shivering as I'm writing and it's hard to put into words what im feeling. To normal people last night might not have been a big deal but i know i'll remember it forever...Is there any real need to write this down? Im not gonna forget what happened this is probably just for the sick gratification of internet people. I suppose not everything on this blog can be good old fun time james... ok here we go So we come back from bowling me, Ams, kelsey and daniel Its kelsey's birthday so we had martinis and a few beers, me, being the genious that i am, pull out some cards and so everyone immediately thinks strip poker... I've got no idea how to play and was naked in a second,my best friends in the world saw me naked... Ams stripped pretty early too and now a completely pissed kelsey just strips for poops and giggles.... Now we all end up naked and horny, kelsey decides we should play spin the bottle... To cut this story down i snogged all three of them for ten seconds, apparently tasting of doritos and beer then we decided to grope, lick and suck... Amy, daniel and kelsey all grabbed my dinkle i kissed their boobs and grabbed dans dinkle then i licked kelsey's boobs... Then we got in Kelsey's bed and compared circumsised to un-circumsised, as you do... Then dan gave kelsey and Ams a nipple erection then we went to bed on the floor hugging, grabbing and fantasising.... Kelsey's parents came in, we got told off and in traditional teenage style we just ignored them. I closed my eyes, ashamed at what had already happened. All i heard was snogging and being an inch away from her arse i felt Amy rubbing against me and im sure they were all falling around with each other while i was laying next to them. Im so sure of it. Needless to say i didn't sleep at all and im completely traumatised. I'll never look at my best friends in the same way again, Im so depressed i feel like i'll never be the same.....
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Erections - Are you having a laugh?
My media exam was today and discussing gender streotypes in sitcom i went off on a tangent about the streotype of red blooded males based on the fact that father ted gets an erection.................. Don't ask me why i did it cos i havn't got an answer just simply know that i did, apparently my brain just doesn't work in exams and relise how inappropriate some things can actually be Need i say more...... Just, why space monkies?..... why?
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Aggghhhhhhhhh!!
Im so worried about philosophy and ethics, i just can't
seem to focus on revision. Hence, why im digressing in
this blog.
God i hope it goes well.
I havn't really been typing in this blog because i have
about a million other things to do so i'll check back
another time.
See ya later Space Monkeys!!!
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So it starts with a girl... Typical!
Its strange how much things can affect people isn't it?
This is one example of something that really upsets me
when i think about it (which is proberly everyday).
So it starts with a girl (typical!).
Everyday for about four years i tried to get this girl to
notice me. But she never looked at me twice... she liked
me well enough and said i was one of her best mates
hundreds of times but while she was around i never looked
at anyone else, i wasted years of my time pining over her.
I was so sure that one day we'd be going out and i could
look after her and tell her how amazing i thought she was.
but things never work like that do they?
I always thought i had a chance she'd say things like "i
don't know what i did without you" and "you can't go to a
different sixth form to me, i'd miss you too much, it
would'nt be the same without you."
So, The two of us were invited to this party right after
the GCSE were over i was up for having an amazing time cos
two weeks of exams mearnt that we had'nt really done
anything good recently. It was wild, there was only about
twenty of us so there was loads of drink. Anyway one girl
decides to quiz me when i was completely drunk: who dyou
fancy?, ever liked any boys? that kind of junk. So i told
everyone.
The one thing i'd kept close to my chest my whole time in
school was how i felt about her and then i just went and
told everyone. I completely forgot about it the next day
but they didn't.
They told her everything i'd said and made up a few thing
as well (just to make it a bit more exciting i guess...).
And she hasn't spoken to me since, i never see her and i
never hear from her. Its been eight months now, she
ignores my texts and had a party got the whloe year went
to except me... I had to delete her number and her email
and i got rid of everything that made me think of her but
it didnt really help.
I know it could be awkard with someone coming out of
nowhere saying they love you but it could have been a
drunken mistake, right? and i understand that it might be
a bit wierd for her but we were so close for five years.
I don't understand how she could just cut me out of her
life... I guess its that. that hits me worse then anything
else. God i miss her, not so i can perve over her or
anything as some people proberly think but because she was
friend and i've never felt so close to someone.
Apparently this wasn't recipricated.
This always depresses me but i want to spulge somewhere
and i guess a random page on the internet is better then
nothing.
Signing Off Space Monkeys,
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